


Bad Idea

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Attempted Escape, Banter, F/M, Flirting, I figured out some things about myself writing this fic, I'd say kisschasey but bite chasey is more accurate, Roxanne is a theatre junkie, Songfic, Waitress - Freeform, and I was both astonished and not at all surprised at myself, and not above doing what it takes to get what she wants, lets make a deal, should have seen this coming, show me your raygun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: Roxanne gets kidnapped at the theatre, things do not go as planned...
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 146





	Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Fucking songfic. Here we are in the year of our never-ending cycle of disasters 2020 and I have reverted to writing songfic for a ten year old fandom that fits 100% into my previous obsessions without ever having looked at it before. Which...sounds about right honestly...
> 
> This fic was entirely inspired by the song Bad Idea from Waitress and specifically the choreography from this performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyFmHDCiHdw
> 
> The song itself is pretty self explanatory and you don't need to have seen or heard it before to read this fic but its a fun song and worth a listen.

**Metro City Welcomes Broadway show Waitress! Running for a limited Season at the Metro City Grand Theatre**

Roxanne fizzed at the theatre. Something about the lights, the music, the incredibly catchy songs. It all combined to send a sparkle through her veins like she should be able to leap out of her seat at the end into her own choreographed dance routine. So when the opportunity arose to report on the opening of Waitress at the Metro City Grand Theatre, she was not above calling in a favour or two to make sure she was given the Arts scene for the night. She had tickets of her own to see the show next week, but it was opening night and she loved this musical.

She still had a standing invitation to join Wayne and the Scotts in their private box, which was slightly awkward since their publicly staged "Break up" a few months back. But Wayne loathed Broadway. And besides, she was here for the show, not to be featured in the tabloids. It was practically a treat to have her seat in the stalls, dressed in a simple black cocktail dress and sheer silver wrap, rather than pretend her wardrobe could keep up with the Scott's society friends and their endless parade of designer gowns.

Unfortunately, just as the ushers started calling for guests to take their seats, she caught a whiff of Eau de Knockout Spray and came to part way through Act One, tied to a chair in the old greenroom, now converted into sound and light storage.

Roxanne scowled and took stock. The room was narrow but long and dimly lit, shelves of gels and cables crowded the space to her left. A narrow window in front of her above head height faced towards the stage, the acoustics in the theatre were good enough she could still hear the stage and...yep, they were more than halfway through Act One. There was a door set far off to her right, past piles of tattered stage curtains and the assorted detritus that collects in theatres. She was seated in a heavy wheeless office chair, obviously repurposed from the old sound desk close by. Wrists tied behind her, the silver wrap she had been wearing by the feel. Not too tight, but certainly enough to keep her seated, though her feet were oddly free. No bag over her head, no Minion, no brain-bots. Her skin prickled, had she been kidnapped by someone else tonight?

"Ah, the delightful Miss Ritchi, I see you are awake."

Evidently not.

"Megamind, were you that desperate for there to be a performance of Phantom of the Opera here tonight that you had to stage your own?" She asked coolly, prickles of caution washing away to be replaced with anticipation.

He stalked towards her out of the shadows, all slim black leather and tightly coiled chaos. Yellow light gleamed off blue skin and a sharp smile with too many teeth. Black gloves gripped the arms of her chair as he leaned closer into her space, "Why Miss Ritchi, are you volunteering yourself for a duet?"

"Oh I doubt I'd have the range," She replied smoothly, crossing her legs delicately and contemplated if she was fast enough to kick him in the shins for the stealing her from her mostly legitimately acquired seat. 

"I'm sure if you screamed for me we could test that hypothesis?"

"And interrupt the show? Think of the poor actors..."

"They're professionals, they can handle it"

Roxanne raised an eyebrow, "Is there a reason you interrupted my evening or was this a crime of opportunity? Because I am supposed to be reporting on the show. And the Scott's aren't here tonight either."

"And perhaps, Miss Ritchi, this is less about Metro Man...and more about you." Roxanne felt her pulse speed up. He was much closer than he usually allowed himself to be in the lair, one foot casually propped behind the other as he leant his weight through his arms on the torn padding of the chair. She could see the inhuman green of his eyes pulse as his pupils contracted and broadened into the oblong shape he kept hidden from public view. The hands on her chair splayed too wide and the way his shoulders shifted under his studded mantle was not how human posture worked at all.

"Oh?" She kept her voice steady, just.

Megamind released the chair and stepped back to pace in front of her, "It concerns me when KCMP sends its finest investigative journalist to cover," he waved a graceful hand towards the stage "Such lesser events."

"Lesser in that they don't revolve around you?"

"Naturally"

"And I suppose this is your way of ensuring that I remain squarely in the public eye?"

"I see your wily reporter skills are as sharp as ever"

Roxanne huffed a laugh, maybe she wouldn't kick him after all "That is _remarkably_ thoughtful of you Megamind, but my being here is entirely on purpose."

"Is that so?"

Roxanne shrugged, "I like this show. If I can see it twice, I will."

Megamind bowed his head courteously, "It seems my fears were entirely unfounded then. What a pity I cant let you escape to enjoy the rest of the performance."

"Oh?" She flashed him her best reporter smile, "And why is that?"

He whirled dramatically, cape flaring behind him, "To release you without the aid of the city's favourite hero? My dear Miss Ritchi we could give the boy a complex! Not to mention having you step on all those people's feet to return to your assigned chair, I cant possibly risk being supplanted in my villainy by such an ee-vil act."

"Really?" Roxanne pointed her toes in front of her, admiring the sparkle of the rhinestone buckle at her ankle. The black chiffon of her dress puddled back onto her thighs and she heard a sharp intake of breath. "These little heels are that much trouble?" 

"Temptress..." he hissed appreciatively, "But how did you find yourself demoted to Arts tonight Miss Ritchi? Not that your skills wouldn't provide an exceptional report."

"I asked of course."

"I'm well aware Ms Snubb of the Arts sector has been angling for the chance to replace you as paramour to Metrocity's beloved superhero, and was expecting said party here tonight. How did you wrest this opportunity from her Miss Ritchi?"

"I wasn't aware you followed workplace drama, Megamind."

"Only when it pertains to you my most lovely kidnapee, is asking really all it took?"

"Mm, no." Roxanne tucked her ankles together under the chair again and tilted her head, smiling innocently up at Megamind, "There may have been a little bribery and just the slightest threat of blackmail involved."

"Miss Ritchi!" Megamind looked delighted "We'll make an Evil Queen of you yet."

"Does being Evil Queen mean I get to see the rest of the show?" she asked interestedly.

"Alas, no."

"Damn."

"Indeed." He resumed pacing, gesturing grandly "But now that I have you in my villainous clutches, I'm afraid we'll have to return to the Lair and make a proper spectacle of it."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Have me in your villainous clutches? I'm tied to a chair, I'm not seeing a lot of clutching going on here." 

Megamind halted, turning to face her "Miss Ritchi," he purred, raising a single black brow, "Are you telling me that you feel...neglected?"

"I feel like I wasted a significantly large favour getting my ticket for tonight and you haven't even bothered to show me your death ray." Roxanne lounged in the chair as much as she was able and raked her eyes over his body, "Only the de-gun? Really Megamind, at least I got dressed up."

Megamind's eyes dropped to the strapless neckline of her gown flickering over bare shoulders and thighs then jerked back up "Your efforts are not unappreciated Miss Ritchi I assure you. And I will certainly do my best to make it up to you for interrupting your night out." He clapped his hands suddenly and strode towards her, pulling a canister of spray from an unseen pocket. "Now then, would you prefer razors or flaming turrets this evening?"

Roxanne stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. She had hopped to drag this out long enough to hear her favourite song at the end of the act. The sound from the stage was muffled, but the music was clear enough, intermission was only a short time away. She turned a considering eye on Megamind, watching the way he was eyeing the slick gloss of her lip and the swing of the earrings grazing her bare shoulders as he waited for her answer. She arched her neck a little, emphasising the sway of the sapphire drops and heard a gloved fist clench."I don't suppose you'd consider little challenge?"

One eyebrow went up, "Oh?" 

Roxanne cast her eyes about the room, "I'm tied up here, not in the lair, no Minion, no bots, no deathtraps. If you hadn't hit me with the spray I bet I could have gotten out of here before the overture finished." She smiled sharply, "I want to see the rest of the show. If I can get out of here by the end of Act One, you have to let me stay."  
Megamind was eyeing her thoughtfully, a dangerous smile hovering at the edge of his mouth, "And if you cant?"

"Then I'll scream." 

Green eyes gleamed hungrily. 

Roxanne smirked and continued, "Bu-uu-ut, No knockout spray, no de-gun, and you have to untie me."

Megamind stroked a finger down his chin, "And why pray tell would I give up my advantages?"

"I'll let you chase me."

"Ah, but I've already caught you."

"Captured me yes, _caught_ me no." She looked up at him through her lashes "Come on Megamind, a knock-out spray when I'm buying a program isn't very challenging...don't you want to see if catch me all by yourself?" Roxanne leaned forward as far as her bound hands would allow. "No one knows you've taken me yet do they? I want to hear the end of this Act. Untie me, and if I can't get out of here by the end of the next song, I'll scream when you get me back to the Lair."

On the stage below, Dr Pomatter and Jenna were talking in an empty doctor's office. In the old greenroom, the gauntlet lay clear on the floor, waiting to be picked up.

Megamind stored the spray and bent down to look at Roxanne. Eyes level with hers he stretched one long hand over her shoulder to grasp the wrap binding her wrists, "Your terms are acceptable Miss Ritchi," His face turned towards her, half-lidded eyes flickering to her mouth as she licked her lips, "I am very much looking forward to hearing you scream for me."

The opening chords of Bad Idea echoed up to the lighting box

_It's a bad idea, me and you_   
_I know, I totally agree_

Megamind grinned viciously and ripped loose the tie around her wrists. Roxanne smirked and bolted for the door, the Overlord of Metrocity gave chase.

_It's a bad idea, me and you_

Roxanne's fingers grasped the handle, locked, as Megamind's hands planted on the door above her.

_I've never known anything so true_   
_It's a terrible idea, me and you_

She flattened her back against the door. His head blocked the light behind them, Roxanne eyed him as her hand wrenched at the old twist lock. 

_You have a wife_   
_You have a husband_

Megamind leaned closer, raising a sarcastic eyebrow at her efforts and Roxanne suddenly couldn't stop herself. Her teeth snapped down on the wide collar at his shoulder and she jerked him off balance sliding low and away.

_You're my doctor_   
_You've got a baby coming_

Roxanne spun and ran for a pile of set dressings, amused laughter echoed behind her and she felt a ghost of fingers across her neck.

_I_ _t's a bad idea, me and you_   
_Let's just keep kissing 'til we come to_

She'd gone another three steps when a hand gripped her shoulder. She nearly fell over a discarded spotlight as Megamind pulled her around and his mocking smile was more than enough. Eyes flashing, Roxanne seized his face in her hands and sucked his lower lip into her mouth then took off again.

_Heart, stop racing_   
_Let's face it, making mistakes like this will make worse what was already pretty bad_

Megamind's brain stuttered at this development so badly that she got half of the way across the room before he pulled himself together enough to follow.

_Mind, stop running_   
_It's time we just let this thing go_

Around the sound desk and Megamind was already there, snaking arms around her waist and lifting her bodily, in response she curled her hand around his shoulder and used the leverage to pull herself up, raking her teeth over the long line of his throat. He stumbled and she ducked under his arm again. "Miss Ritchi..."

_It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn't it though?_

Roxanne laughed and dodged around a shelf of coloured gels, aiming for the other side and back to the door.

_It's a bad idea, me and you_   
_It's a bad idea, me and you_

There was a growl and she was jerked back against a lean chest. Roxanne grinned recklessly then gasped as teeth bit into her shoulder and sucked a red mark onto her skin. White hot fire roared up her spine.

_Hold me close while I think this through_

Roxanne pushed away the arm circling her waist, tangled their fingers together and spun to pin Megamind against the shelf of lights, pushing herself up on tiptoes to run her tongue along the line of his ear. He shuddered.

_Yeah, it's a very poor idea, me and you_

Long hands clenched on her hips and her knees nearly gave out as she stumbled free and sprinted for the next row. A dead end.

_Heart, stop racing_   
_Let's face it, making mistakes like this will make worse what was already pretty bad_

Roxanne stepped backwards, casting an eye for a gap in boxes she could squeeze through. Megamind propped himself languidly against the shelf like he had all the time in the world and raised an eyebrow invitingly.

_Mind, stop running_   
_It's time we just let this thing go_

Roxanne threw a microphone case at his head.

_It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn't it though?_

One long hand batted it away like it was nothing and he stormed towards her, seizing her waist as she tried to dodge past. Teeth on her ear, a clever tongue tugging at the earring hook.

_I know it's right for me_

Roxanne dragged her nails over the curve of his skull and angled her mouth against his

_It's the only thing I've ever done_

His hand curled along her jaw and he snarled into the kiss

_What if I never see myself ever be anything more_

Roxanne snarled back, those too sharp teeth snapped against her tongue then parted 

_Than what I've already become?_

His hand slid up into her hair, she clutched his shoulders and panted into his mouth

_I need a bad idea_

His thumb swept over her lip, she opened her mouth and licked at the black glove and bit at the pad of his thumb

_I need a bad idea_

He hissed and grabbed her arms, pushing her back against the shelves row, sliding a thigh between her legs

_I need a bad idea_

He pressed one hand against her hip, pinning her hands above her head with the other and rolled his body along hers. Roxanne tipped her head back and made a needy sound.

_I need a bad idea_

A hand ran up her side, cupping her breast and she gasped then twisted loose again, running out from the shelves.

_Just one_

He moved too fast to see, appearing in front of her and she dodged back behind the chair she had woken up in.

_Heart, keep racing_   
_Let's make mistakes_

Megamind circled around the chair, Roxanne kept pace, keeping herself out of reach. Her lip was caught between her teeth and she was smiling fiercely. His eyes were iridescent, pupils blown wide across the iris, fingers clenching and unclenching as he watched her.

_Let us say "so what?" and make worse what was already pretty bad_

He leapt over the chair and she crashed into him, biting his jawline as his arms wrapped around her waist.

_This secret is safe_   
_No reason to throw it away when there's love to be had_

The momentum spun them into the desk and Roxanne wrapped her legs around lean hips as her back pressed against the sound board. His too sharp teeth caught her lip and licked at the scrape. 

_Hold me tight as I tell myself that you might make sense_

Megamind growled, Roxanne laughed and kicked off the soundboard sending them both to the floor.

_And make good what has been just so bad_

She scrambled back along the floor, flattened sage carpet beneath her palms. The door was behind her, an ocean of worn carpet between her and escape. And Megamind's hands sliding up her thigh as he knelt above her.

_Let's see this through_   
_It's a pretty good bad idea_

He sucked his lip between his teeth and looked at her, one eyebrow raised as he waited for her to try and run again. Roxanne smirked and pulled him down on top of her, opening her mouth to his.

_Me and you_

**Author's Note:**

> The end...do let me know what you think


End file.
